This Alone Can Make You Unstoppable…
If you ask ten successful people what sets them apart, you’ll probably get ten different answers.
They’ll probably say things like education, hard work, setting goals, being in the right place at the right time…
And to a certain extent, all of these things are mostly true. Sure, there will be some people who don’t have much of an education, but they’re a hell of a hard worker. There will be someone who didn’t really have a goal in mind, but they fell into their field and ended up loving it.
So those elements of success are important, but not universal.
But there’s one thing that they do all have in common. That invisible but essential element is…
Yes, it’s that simple. They have the confidence to go the extra mile, to shake the hand of the person they’re dying to meet, to introduce themselves to a crowd, to stand up and say who they are and what they do and why this matters.
It all sounds so simple when it’s in black and white, but in practice? Most people don’t live with this kind of confidence day to day.
Instead, most people stay in their lane. They don’t introduce themselves to new people. They don’t ask for a raise or speak up in meetings, and when they have an idea that would mean going their own way? They shut it down before even giving it a second’s thought.
Yes, confidence is what “separates the men from the boys,” as they say.
So why is it so rare?
And if you don’t have it, can you develop it?
Is Confidence Something You Were Born With?
Not too long ago, I had Priyanka Chopra into London Real and I asked her these exact questions.
Priyanka is a world-famous Indian actress, singer, philanthropist, and film producer. She originally planned to become an engineer, but after her mother sent her photo to the Miss India pageant on a whim, she took the pageant world by storm and went on to win Miss World instead.
With a history like this, you’d think Priyanka was always a woman with take-no-prisoners confidence, right?
Wrong. She describes her young years as awkward and gawky, and details an experience with a bully as a reason she decided to leave American high school – she didn’t want to be tormented, so she no longer wanted to be seen.
How’d she make the leap from victim to victor?
It goes right back to what we’re talking about. Confidence.
When Priyanka saw the opportunities in front of her, she decided she had to choose between staying shy and comfortable and forcing herself to be confident. As you can guess, she decided she had to “fake it until she made it” and the rest, as they say, is history.
Now, Priyanka is as cool, calm, and collected as she seems to be. With all sorts of credits and accolades under her belt, she is as confident as she once portrayed herself to be.
Nothing Comes Easy. It’s a Journey
If you’re struggling to break through to the next level yourself, you might be wondering, “How is that possible? ‘Fake it ‘til you make it’ is way too simplistic – how do I actually become confident enough to attain the things I want from life?”
And the answer is it’s a journey, and it’s different for everyone, but here are some specific practices you can try while you’re on that journey.
Dress To Impress
It’s hard to feel like a bigshot in pajamas – or even in a T-shirt and jeans. If you want to feel important, and you have this idea of an important guy in a three piece suit, guess what you should wear when you want to feel powerful and in charge? You got it – it’s time to break out your best suit. From the moment you look the part, there will be a subtle shift in your subconscious. You’ll start to feel the part, too.
Here’s a hint – why do you think I wear suits on the set on London Real? Yes, you got it – it’s because that’s how I want to show up for my guests and my viewers. I show them I value their presence with my attire. You can use this trick, too.
Flip Your Thinking
When you feel unconfident, it’s easy to have a negative inner monologue. No matter what you want to achieve, when you feel like it’s not attainable for you, it’s very likely that you’ll stack up reasons why.
Everything from, “I’m bad at math” to “I’m terrible at public speaking. Why would anyone pick me?” will run through your head. The key to ditching the negativity behind these thoughts is to turn them around. Even if you don’t have skills in a certain area, you can be honest AND kind with yourself. Instead of, “I’m bad at math,” try “Math is an area I’m trying to improve in.”
Instead of hating yourself for struggling with public speaking, try, “I prefer written communications, so instead of making speeches, I can wow people with my written communications instead.”
Take Small Steps
Know that progress is progress – no matter how small. When you’re trying to develop a new way of life, it can seem overwhelming. When you’re trying to be more organized, for example – that encompasses a lot of things. Find the first step in that process – maybe it’s making your bed everyday, maybe it’s answering all emails within the first 48 hours – and then commit to that step and only that step.
Once you’ve mastered it, let the momentum of success carry you forward into the next step… and the next… and the one after that, too.
If you can master your outward appearance, your inner monologue, and your daily habits, you won’t be faking confidence anymore. You’ll be a paragon of accomplishment. Just remember – none of this is hard, and no one is born with it.
It’s a skill you can and should develop for yourself. Once you do, there’s nothing that can stand in your way.
Editor, Brian Rose Uncensored