Change Your Life For The BEST: Always Think This…
I am enough.
I am enough.
I am enough.
These three simple words are what Marisa Peer stands by. It is the mantra she teaches to deal with all the problems you may face in life. From struggles with your image to your career to your relationships, it all has to do with feeling like you aren’t enough.
Marisa has an incredible story which began when she started teaching fitness classes with Jane Fonda in Hollywood. She looked around and saw so many women from all walks of life who didn’t feel like they were enough. She wanted to help them reshape the way they thought about themselves.
She is now an international best-selling author, motivational speaker, & personal development expert. She has helped thousands of people throughout three decades with her Rapid Transformational Therapy – R.T.T., a solution-based approach that is fast and effective
Her client list includes international superstars, CEOs, Royalty, and Olympic athletes.
Marisa is the best-selling author of five books, including You Can Be Younger, Trying To Get Pregnant, and her most recent, I Am Enough. Today I wanted to share with you one of Marisa’s main rules for living a happier life.
Making The Familiar Unfamiliar
Marisa spent 30 years studying human behavior. When she was training to be a psychotherapist, she had a teacher who used to remind the students that the mind is very complex and takes a lifetime to understand and another lifetime to fix.
Marisa thought to herself, “how could this be?”
“When we as humans are given such brilliant minds why should we spend two lifetimes just to figure out how to lead happy lives?”
Through her years of study and research she has come up with three simple things you should know about your mind in order to “make your life a masterpiece.”
The first is that your mind does what it thinks you want and what it thinks you want is based entirely on the things you say.
The second is that the brain responds to the pictures and the words it sees and the third is that the brain is wired to go toward what is familiar and run away from what is unfamiliar. Humans used to rely on the familiar to survive; for example, if you were a hunter gatherer you knew which berries weren’t poisonous so you stick with those and avoid anything that was unfamiliar. This is why humans are so hardwired to resist the unfamiliar.
Humans respond to both positive and negative repetition. If you are brought up from a young age being constantly told you aren’t good enough or won’t amount to anything, then you will be unable to accept praise the older you get. Praise has become unfamiliar and so the child shies away from it. Marisa deals with clients like this all the time; clients who have grown familiar with allowing in criticism while rejecting praise.
Marisa deals with this by teaching the individual to make the unfamiliar familiar. She does so through repetition. When you constantly give praise to an individual, overtime, because of the repetition, the brain begins to shift and will accept this unfamiliar behavior.
“It’s very simple,” Marisa says, “if you want to be happy, praise yourself a lot. Don’t let in criticism unless it’s super constructive.”
This is ultimately what will change your life forever and it really is that simple.
Negativity vs. Positivity Throughout Life
Similarly to how humans have been hardwired to seek out the familiar, they have also been hardwired to seek out the negative. A hunter is trained to seek out threats in the woods from dangerous snakes to predatory animals.
Even humans now are taught that looking for danger keeps them safe. If you are walking home alone at night you will cross the street if you see a stranger coming toward you. You will walk on the side with more lampposts or you’ll have your phone at the ready. You are protecting yourself from potential danger and looking for what might go wrong.
This Does Not Mean You Should Be Negative In All Aspects Of Your Life
We can allow ourselves to be aware of the negative, but not let it take over our lives. Survival comes with its own amount of negativity, but it’s key to keep the positives outweighing the negatives.
Marisa comments that we live in a much easier and safer world than the generations that have come before us. Now instead of running away from a bear in the woods, we run away from our emails, our chores, or our responsibilities. However, at the end of the day, when we are able to face these things and complete them the ultimate result is a feeling of much greater happiness.
This also ties in with aging well. The sad fact about aging is that you turn into your expectations of yourself. You are always in control of how you will age. For example, if you tell yourself, “oh I’m too old for that or I shouldn’t be doing that,” your brain hears that and believes it. If you tell yourself that life is “going downhill,” then your life will go downhill. It’s that simple.
You can see this with a lot of famous people, they are used to performing and being active so even when they get older, they are used to the routine of getting up and doing their art. Age is really just a number, what actually matters is living your life in the present the way you want to continue to live it in the future.
I hope Marisa has left you with a lot to think about going forward.
What are some ways you can begin to reframe the way you think about yourself?
Begin the day with words of self praise and I am sure you will start to see a real difference in your level of happiness.
Editor, Brian Rose Uncensored