Is Half Of Society Really Doomed?
If you’ve been paying attention to the news at all this year, one term you’ve probably heard a lot is “toxic masculinity”.
The term was invented in the 1980s, but its use has risen to a fever pitch in the last few years.
In fact, if we look at Google Trends, we see that the term was almost never used until about June of 2016… then only a bit, until January of 2019 when the term hit its peak popularity.
In a New York Times article titled What Is Toxic Masculinity? Explains that toxic masculinity is
- Suppressing emotions or masking distress
- Maintaining an appearance of hardness
- Violence as an indicator of power (think: “tough-guy” behavior
In other words: “Toxic masculinity is what can come of teaching boys that they can’t express emotion openly; that they have to be “tought all the time”; that anything other than that makes them “feminine” or weak.” (No, it doesn’t mean that all men are inherently toxic.)
The American Psychological Association goes further, stating…”traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful.”
In other words, behaving in a manner that’s described as traditionally male harms others.
In recent times, toxic masculinity has been blamed for everything from women not having access to a comfortable seat on the subway to mass shootings, wars, and full scale destruction.
A man doesn’t feel comfortable crying in public? It’s because he’s a victim of toxic masculinity.
A woman gets passed over for a promotion? It’s probably because her boss is so masculine he’s made the workplace toxic.
A little boy doesn’t want his sisters to put nail polish on him? Uh-oh – he’s probably a future toxic male in the making…
This Leads To A Lot Of Questions…
Why are traditional masculine ideal behaviors necessarily a bad thing?
In a world where we all know that heavy-handed sexism and discrimination is not ok, why has this decided anti-male term spread so far so fast?
And why are we pointing to some pretty standard male traits and some silly examples as a pandemic that must be dealt with?
Ryan Michler thinks he knows the answer to all of these questions.
Ryan is a combat veteran, a broadcaster, the founder of The Order Of Men, and the author of the highly-rated, but somewhat controversial book Sovereignty – The Battle For The Hearts And Minds Of Men, in which he details the thirteen principles he believes modern men need to reclaim and live by in order to have a righteous and fulfilling life.
Because he grew up without a permanent father figure, he had no one to teach him what it means to be a man until he was an adult himself. He says he’s seen first-hand how “a lack of strong, ambitious, self-sufficient men has impacted society today” and believes that most of the world’s biggest problems could be solved if more men fully stepped into their roles as protectors and providers for their families and their communities.
For that reason, he’s made it his mission to lead modern men into becoming “the men they are meant to be so they may more adequately take care of themselves and those they are responsible for.”
When we sat down together on the set of London Real, we talked about what it means to be a man in the age of so-called “toxic masculinity”.
Ryan believes that the trend towards a more feminine-centric society began long before the term toxic masculinity – or even the idea that traditional values could be toxic – ever existed.
He believes it started during the Industrial Revolution, when men started working away from the home and, instead of having fathers to show them the way every day, young boys were left mostly in the care of their mothers and female teachers.
Now, you and I know there’s nothing wrong with kids learning from their mothers or from women in general, but when young boys lack strong, present male role models…
As These Boys Grow Up, Society Begins To Take A Turn
From then on, things have progressed to the society we have today.
A full third of households with children in the U.S. are headed by a single parent, and of those households, 83% are with a single mother per the Pew Research Center. So it’s no wonder than millions of boys don’t know how to act like men – they have no one to show them the way.
This leads to generations of boys who become adults and have no idea how to deal with the feelings and hormones and thoughts that they naturally have – things like courage, independence, and leadership.
He goes on to explain that the traditional traits of masculinity can indeed be negative when displayed in the wrong way, and that the best possible remedy for them is a return to true manliness instead of false bravado.
Ryan’s belief is that a man’s job is to become a protector, a provider, and a presider. Women can do these things, too, of course, but that’s not the natural order and it creates a change in the home life and relationships.
When men step up and lead at home, at work, and in their community, it’s not toxic. It’s necessary.
Just as femininity can’t be bad for women, it’s not possible for masculinity by its proper definition to be bad for men. It’s simply who we are.
Remember how we’re always called to accept the ideas and ways of others?
It’s ok for us to accept the traits of traditional masculinity, too.
With this implemented, I’m predicting it will be for the better.
Editor, Brian Rose Uncensored