To Be Wildly Successful, You Must First Do This…
Prestige, money, and authority – who wouldn’t want these things in life?
My guess is that every last one of us fantasizes about having these things in some capacity or another.
David Meltzer – a recent guest on London Real – has them all in spades.
He’s a best-selling author of two books. He tours the world giving speeches to crowds of entrepreneurs. His sports marketing agency is so successful that Forbes called him the Super Bowl’s Inside Man.
Oh, and he’s worth about $120 Million, too. That’s not chump change.
When it comes to people like David who “have it all”, it’s easy to feel jealous or to discount how they got where they are.
“He probably had connections.”
“Must have been born rich.”
“I bet Daddy set that all up for him – must be nice!”
Sometimes we even automatically discount the possibility that we could get where they are, too.
“I could have had a life like that if I was richer / more educated / had different parents… but this is how my life is, so I’ll never have the kind of life that this guy does…”
David himself would be quick to tell you that’s not his story went at all.
Rather than being born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he made his own fortune…
And Then LOST It…
And then built it back up again.
Here’s the thing – he doesn’t attribute that success to intelligence or even any sort of special qualifications.
Instead, David is certain that the way to get anything in life is to stop thinking about how many fans you have and how interesting you are to other people…
And instead, to become someone who’s interested.
This is not a brand new idea. Dale Carnegie published one of the best selling books of all time How To Win Friends and Influence People back in 1936, and one of the most important things he mentions in the book is…
Becoming genuinely interested in other people.
According to Carnegie, this is the very first thing you need to know about how to make someone like you.
All you have to do is show an interest in them – this one simple thing builds an instant affinity.
This sounds contrary to what we’ve learned from other sources all of our lives, right?
You might have heard things like you’ve got to control the conversation… you’ve got to learn how to tell a good story… you should speak your mind…
And all of those things are true at certain points in time.
But they’re not at all guaranteed to make people like you.
See, when you first meet someone, you only have a limited time to create a good impression with them.
One way to create an impression is to instantly make sure they know what you’re all about – but that only works if they like what you have to say, of course.
And if you can say it in a way that’s not boring or arrogant.
If your point is not in line with their beliefs, well, good luck making that good impression. You’re more likely to be “that jerk” who’s the low point of their day.
Instead of starting off with who you are and what you’re all about, you started a new relationship by asking questions?
And rather than staying surface level with the same ol’ boring small talk, you went deep and really learned about them?
This idea makes a lot of people nervous. After all, they “don’t want to pry” and they think people will consider them nosy if they ask a lot of questions.
But showing a deep interest in someone is a good thing.
As Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
When you make someone feel that you’re genuinely interested in them and what they have to say, you won’t have to work very hard to make them remember you.
In fact, the next time they want to pass on a tip or a referral…
You’re that much more likely to be the first person they think of.
This is how you make the kind of connections and deals that can help you springboard from where you are now to wherever you want to be – just by showing up and caring about others a little more than everyone else does.
That’s not to say that you should do this in a slimy, self-serving way. People can smell that from a mile away.
And it’s not to say that you should put in the bare minimum just to get people to like you.
How Soulless Would That Be?
Rather, you should develop a keen interest in other humans and then dig in so you can satisfy that curiosity.
This is the sort of thing that starts out as a matter of effort, but it quickly turns into a habit.
When you’ve created a set of questions that genuinely interest you, you can quickly go from “Nice to meet you,” to “Wow, I am so glad I took the time to make that connection!”
Building this rapport with people works no matter who you’re talking to.
From the teller at your local bank branch to the CEO of a Fortune 500 company that you happen to sit next to on a plane…
When you develop an attitude of interest (instead of an attitude of self-aggrandizement), you can make an impact on that person that will last long after your primary encounter.
And that impact will be the thing that makes all the difference in your relationships.
So the next time you’re tempted to tell a new acquaintance all about yourself, pause for a minute and think, “What makes this person tick?
What is it that I find fascinating about them? And how can I get to know them better?”
Once you approach your meetings from that point of view, you’ll be stunned to see how quick your network can thrive and support you. Give it a shot – you won’t regret it.
Editor, Brian Rose Uncensored